esexist: what if you were holding a puppy and being like “aw whos the cutest wittle puppy in the whole wide world?” it responded in a grown mans voice just like “i am the cutest puppy in the whole wide world”
chucksandjumpers: williamowainherondale: omg guess what i found out today that falling feeling when you wake up suddenly in bed is because when you were dropping off you heart rate slowed down too fast so your brain thought you were dying so it tried waking you up immediatly thank u brain~ No problem, boss.
blueisforscarvesandboxes: david-bui: do you ever just feel so awkward when you buy something and pay in cash and the cashier gives you the change back but you take a few seconds to put the money in your wallet and you can feel the world judging you from afar I’m glad it isn’t just me
aye-luff-yew: teapayne: The dollar in your wallet could have once belonged to a celebrity
When a teacher sends you to take..... →
secretsbest: When a teacher sends you to take something to another room that….was me.
such-a-beautiful-masterpiece: hardcoretaco: literallythis: screamingcrawfish: alphaqueer: daysturnedtoweeks: When guys have a bath, does their penis float or sink? i was going to answer this but i’ve been sat here for a good two minutes and i can’t fucking remember go take a bath what are you doing science is on the line motherfucker it sinks it’s fucking full of blood what do...